First and foremost, I do apologize for the long urmm nap. I was just simply too tired to bring myself to write. Now I have finally received the strength needed to lay in my bed with my laptop and write. Or maybe it's that I finally have thought of something to write.
There has been something that's been on my mind a lot lately, death. Primarily for two reasons. The first being that my wonderful boyfriend and I have been watching this show called "Dead Like Me" which for those who don't know is about an eighteen year old girl who get's hit by a toilet seat from a space station and dies. She then becomes a grim reaper and takes souls of those who die a painful death so they do not need to experience such pain. The second is a song called "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry.
Both have had me in full blown death mode, dreams and all. The primary reason for all this background knowledge is that I used to think I wasn't scared of death. Boy, was I wrong. It started with a dream of having to take my own soul and I couldn't do it. I cried and cried that I hadn't fully lived. I'd never get to experience what I wanted.
Now I'm in a scared state about everything, too careful with monotinous tasks. I just have all these thoughts like "what if I die before I get married?!" "what if I don't graduate and get a real job!" "I don't wanna work at Meijer the rest of my life" and so on and so forth.
The thing is, death, like most things is completely unpredictable. But one thing I can say is that, I have to trust. I trust God. This past summer was an opening experience into my horrible, strained relationship with Him. But now, communication has been restored and although it's not the best, it's there. I no longer just say, "I worship in my own time." I have a relationship with God. That being said, I should hope that I can spend eternity in His kingdom instead of stressing out about Earthly possesions. This is nothing compared to where I will be at the end of this life.
2 Corinthians 4:7-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I can't be scared of death for then all my simple troubles will waste away. Why should I be scared when I have all the glory that lay in front of me? And if I die, I die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM&ob=av2e
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