Patience, grasshopper

Week three: completed. Part of me feels a huge sense of accomplishment and yet the other part is anxious. Even though I completed three weeks, there's still three more years of this. Patience has never been a strong point of mine but I'm trying to deal. I have always felt the need for speed (Blame it on my childhood-too many years growing up around fast things). My mind keeps wondering back to the question, "is it time for me to be a grown up yet?"

The thing is, growing up is a process. I know that I'm no where near where I want to be in my life and it's going to take some time to get there. So I'll keep spending my Friday and Saturday nights doing things like thesis essays or studying for exams instead of going out to the big party across the street (well, as big as it can get at Grand Valley) because I know in the long run, it's what needs to be done and what will put me ahead.

Ahead is exactly where I need to be when it comes to finding a job in the future. I want to have every opportunity open to me. I don't want to be cut out because I got a "C" in Spanish instead of an "A" or "B." Since I'm so clueless to what I want to do exactly I need the extra opportunities to maybe open doors that would otherwise be closed. I want to know that if I want to go to Spain or Italy to work, that it won't be a problem.

The thing is, I can't wait. I want it now. I want to graduate in 2010 or sooner if that's possible. I'm the typical American in that aspect. I need results now or I'm not happy. But in this moment, I'm truly happy. Happier than I have been in a very long time. As mentioned in a previous post, there's now a boy in my life (quick summary: boy lives in Texas so we can't technically be in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation). But the thing is, this boy is quickly stealing my heart faster than any other person has or possibly could have. Talking to him brightens my day whenever I'm down and he can make me laugh under almost any circumstance. He is something so different and special to me.

So I'm at a crossroads, do I wait three years for this one particular man or do I date someone else in the meantime? Do I wait and hope that in three years my future job will put me into a city/state/country that we can hopefully be together in? So what's a girl to do? Put on her walking shoes or stop and smell the roses, well, rose in my case. It's a tricky situation but...

Patience is a virtue.