I need an outlet for my frustrations, anger, and just all that jazz. This week has been a crazy one and it's only Tuesday. Not only does the near future hold promise of more crazyness, but also holds the promise of hope.
This past Friday, a close relative of mine passed away. While it was expected at the time, nothing is more tragic then the end of human life. Death is so final and for many unexpected. It began to make me think more of my life and the decisions I've made up until now. Will I be prepared if God chooses me?
The truth is we just don't know when that fateful moment will occur. It could be today, tomorrow, or 3840 years from now. While I am feeling mega-cliche writing this, it's the truth and today has made me realize there is still so much left undone in my life.
I don't honestly know how many people I can say "know" me or actually know how I feel about many issues. As I'm trying to be more open, I've realized I'm pushing myself away from many. I shy away from social events for fear of doing and/or saying stupid things. I've really now come to know myself more and more as I grow older. I know the things I dislike, my sense of humor, what attracts me to people, but I doubt that other people know that of me. At least a lot of people.
I guess the most important thing I've realized is there is still hope. I still have an indefinite amount of time to do the things that I want to do, see the places I want to see, and let people actually get to know the real me.
Funny how death makes you realize so many things. The most finite thing in the world....
