I always feel more pensive at 3 a.m. than any other time in the day. Maybe it's my serene surroundings or maybe it's the time that my brain is shut off from everything else. So 3 a.m. I sit here thinking about my future, because that's what I like to do.
I'm good at making plans. I think I say "alright, game plan." more than anything. I need to have plans solidified and confirmed several times and heaven forbid those plans get messed up. Heaven and hell will shine down then. Now here is my problem.
I'm a hypocrit.
Yep, I said it. I know everyone is to some degree, but lately, I'm feeling worse and worse about it. I make plans, I strategize in my head to reach and follow through with such plan, but no. I am continually failing in my plans.
I need to make better, smarter, wiser, decisions or learn to commit. I know that God has his own plans for me, but the orderly Katherine, loves, loves, loves to make her own. The next and rightful thing would be to learn to commit. Commit to what though?
I have a really bad problem with commitment. I like the new and exciting with everything. I'd rather galavant off with new friends than hang out with old ones. I suppose there's a reason for it but that's a whole different subject.
For right now, there's only one question. "should I stay or should I go?"
It's simple, once you think about it... Step 1:
ReplyDeleteLet your mind wander until it finds the happiest place it can. If you think about money-stress you're anxious. If you think about really attractive men you're filled with lust. If you think about somebody you hate, you're filled with hate. If you think about your future self that you truly truly truly desire and aspire to be, you will be flooded with fulfillment and happiness.
example: I think about being very wealthy, and married to my amazing girlfriend with 0 debt and 0 obligations to anybody but myself. I think about "success" as I've defined it in my mind... this thought makes me very very VERY happy.
It isn't something I can focus on every hour of every day, but especially at night I get the chance to give it thought. This thought naturally leads to step 2:
Apply a spoonful of brain to problem-solve your own life.
This is where intelligence and knowledge come in handy (the only place, as a matter of fact). You see the amazing future self that you want, and you backtrack along a logical and rational path to get THERE from HERE. Think of it as moving from point A to point B.
and now the tricky part, Step 3:
Don't let anything get in your way (especially yourself). On the road to success... however you define it there is exactly one way to fail.
If I've learned anything, it is that there is ONLY 1 way to fail, and that is quite simply to give up.
You can map out the path to success in your head... it has some obstacles. Those obstacles may be people, tests, degrees, certifications, or just logistics in general. None of them are impossible to overcome. If you can think it, you can be it. As a person you need to be rational with yourself in deciding "who stays and who goes" in the grand scheme of things.
If you have a partner or friend who simply doesn't fit into your eventual goal/aspiration, then somewhere along the line they will either change into a person that fits, leave your life for good, or you will bend to fit THEIR expectations... it can't be had multiple ways.
Not all change is bad... but if you KNOW what you want out of life, just remember that it is yours and you only get to live it once. Figure out what you WANT, and be unstoppable. You can create change with your mind faster then you can imagine if you focus on what you want and do everything you know how to get it.
Hope this helps