One year ago

With a day overflowing of nothingness I had a lot of time to think. Where was I one year ago? Would I like me today? How much have I changed exactly?

One year ago today would have been my second day of college and chances are, I was freaking out about classes, making new friends, and such. Today, I'm waiting to hear back on a few job applications and only slightly stressed about the year in front of me. I feel like I've really grown up and grown into my own person this year and last year.

I've tested my limits and pushed myself to do things I would have normally not. How can you not know if you don't like something if you've never done it (granted within normal limits--generally no law breaking or heroin of that nature)? But here's the thing, I know myself better and I know what I want and need in my life. Last year at this point, I had no clue really who I was or what exactly I was looking for.

I don't know exactly what I'm going to do once I graduate but I'll find something, something that I'll love. But that's part of this whole crazy process. For now, I'm just taking one step at a time and still truly happy with how things are progressing.

Update!

So, since I've last wrote, I've returned to Michigan (at this point, I'm refusing to call it home). I'm still in my ...birth town, Lapeer, but I'm about to move in to my townhome in Allendale on Monday. I'm pretty excited for it but part of me is still sad for many reasons. When thinking of schools my junior and senior year of high school, I only briefly entertained the idea of moving out of the state. Now that I'm still in Michigan, I'm a little disappointed with myself. Not that Michigan is a horrible state, it's just not for me. I would prefer to be some place else and that exact location is still unknown.

I've always wanted to travel and that's why I chose the particular major that I did. Now, I'm just concerned that I won't get a job once I graduate. But I'm refusing to let that get me down. I'm going to find a job and I'm going to travel, just like my original plans.

As far as some place to call home, I'm still looking. I've been to a few cities, some that have really caught my attention and others that ...well not so much. Granted, I'm only 19 but you've got to start looking early.

I guess to call this an update, I really should explain what's going on in my life. Currently I'm trying to balance my schedule so I can graduate in 3 or maybe 3 1/2 years. I've also tried searching for a job for the summer already. This summer I made the mistake of procrastinating. If I had known or made the decision to go to Texas earlier, I could have started looking for a job much earlier and gotten a much better job. While looking for a job for the summer, I'm also looking for a job right now, gotta make rent somehow.

There's also a boy in my life now, well technically kind of. It's a different kind of situation. During the last month in Texas I started hanging out with a boy. We both understood that I would be leaving to back to MI but we both developed feelings much stronger than we expected. But we both agree that long distance relationships never work for the better. So it's more of an open line of communication. As long as we're into eachother, then we're happy.

So for now, I'm in a somewhat happy state and I think I like the way things are going in my life.